This post actually comes at the start of the scary thing, but I’m writing it because making the decision and committing to doing it is as scary as actually doing it will be.
Mini Adventure 4: Take a step towards real life…
I have just now, booked to go to the Liberal Democrat Autumn Conference in Bournemouth. This may not sounds scary at all, especially if its something I’m into. But. I have never done something like this ALONE before… I’ve been to work conferences. But there has always been a team mate with me. And it was related to my work, so I knew what I was talking about. For this, I’m going on my own. To something I have a personal interest in, that I don’t have to go to. This is completely off my own back, no one to rely on, no one to keep me positive, no one to be my emotional safety net. Scary!
The other part, is this will be a big, social situation. If I’m going to get anything from it, I’m going to have to be very brave and actually talk to people. About politics! It will really put my networking skills and training to the test. But it will also be an introvert endurance challenge. I’m already only going for half of it (partly, I can’t afford four nights in a hotel), but primarily, I’m going to be close to tears by Sunday night, even if it’s gone swimmingly. I’m a little proud that I’m planning ahead for that.
This is a big deal for me. I’ve been having a few weeks of a ‘turning 30 crisis’ (I believe some call this a midi-life crisis?) and questioning what I’m doing with my life. Am I living up to my own potential? Am I putting my money where my mouth is when I say I can do things better than those in charge? Am I even just testing my own life philosophies? Currently, not really. So this is also the first step in really challenging my own visions of the future. I’m scared either I or it won’t live up to the fantasy. But damn, will I sorely regret not giving it a go if I look back in 20 years time and find I’ve just been to scared to even attempt to live the life I had a chance to.
So, expect another post on the subject mid-September!
Who knows, in a few years time, maybe I’ll be posting about putting myself forward as a candidate for Luton MP 😉