I realise I’ve not written a post in a looooong time, its not because I’ve not done anything brave in that time! It’s just been a tough old year, and I’ve either not had time or the inclination to post anything. So there are probably going to be a few going up on stuff I’ve done this last year , because I could really do with having them documented for myself to read back on sadder days.
Mini Adventure 5: Venturing out into the big bad wilderness all on my lonesome…
I was looking through my old pictures for some inspiration, and found some of my first ever trip away alone, and I figured “that’s EXACTLY what I’m going for!”. About Septembery time last year, I was in some desperate need of running away, but I hadn’t won the lottery and am a long way off actually being that impulsive. So! Instead, I took the big leap (for me) and booked myself a holiday alone. I was really proud of myself the moment I pressed the ‘book’ button, and by the time the confirmation email came through, I was crapping myself. Mostly, just at the idea of 3 solid days alone, in a hut, with just my own noggin. I wasn’t sure I wanted all the thoughts and feelings I’d been repressing to come out, regardless of how much I knew I needed to deal with them. But there was no internet, no TV, barely any phone signal and I just about got the radio working. Well, if I will choose to go so off grid as to go to South East Wales…!
But as it happens, it was the first time in years I remembered that being alone in my own company doesn’t scare me. I’m actually, kind of an alright person. And sitting quietly outside in the country for hours, days, showed just how fast daily life, and the churn of my inner thoughts constantly run. It was so freeing to just, not.
Instead what I did was read my book. Properly. Without checking my phone every ten minutes. Without popping up to do chores. Without having to have something on in the background. I also drank wine. That part is not that novel. And I danced around on my own to the Craig Charles Funk and Soul Show. And I slept as long as I wanted. And everything was fine. I know it wasn’t a solo trip abroad, which is a future challenge I need to face. But it was still ground breaking for me, and I’m really proud I just went through with it, to break the back of ‘doing things on my own’.